Friday, August 22, 2003

Ooy. feeling very down on life at the moment. I swear to God, thats the only time i click on this thing and write. When i'm sick of dealing with ****, and their stupidity, and these *****and their stupidity. 40,000 ***, and like 3,000 *** didn't ****their ** or update their **. and the laughable part--a good portion of these idiots dont HAVE ****. ARG. people are too stupid to have ***. Thats really the only thing i can think of. People shouldn't be allowed to have them, until they pass a proficiency test. I mean, people dont know they need ** **... they dont know how to check their ***, they don't know how to ** ****.

I dont mean to be arrogent or anything, but damnit, what the hell? like how can you have this device, and have NO idea how to use it, and have no desire to learn. And why do you have to get pissy with ME because YOU chose not to learn how to do this. Its bad enough i have to ***people and fix their problems, but i also have to coach them on basic function of their ****.

And I'm feeling bad that i haven't been to the gym all summer. And it shows. I put on 5 lbs. like in the last week. I hate looking at my waist line. Well, I hate looking at all of me, but I hate looking at my belly most of all, and my hips. That frelling tire. I keep eating stuff that's bad for me. Why can't I be total fear of food girl, like i was last year? That rocked. For like six months, I didn't put hardly anything in my mouth that wasn't part of the 1200 cal. and damnit, did it work. And now... every time i eat somewhere, I end up getting dessert, or if i'm at work, i gotta have something resembling chocolate when i'm done. ARRG.

My gut actually hurts because i had bits and pieces from like three doughnuts today. I ate the top off a coconut doughnut, ate the filling out of a cream fileld and ate the center out of a cinnimon and threw the rest of the way. Oh yeah, and i had a bunch of french fries off of James' plate today. I mean, i guess it's good that i get physically punnished every time i eat fried food, but all it does is depress me because i'm reminded of how absolutely weak i am.

some day i'm going to have my kitchen back from the stupid bug crisis that's happening now. We'll stop having roaches, and i can actually get every single thing that used to be in my kitchen out of the dining room. That'll make me happy. Then i can have a dining room again. And maybe have like friends over and stuff again. Man, i hate not having somethign resembling a normal life.

ok, so i hate a lot of things right now, and that's what we've established.

And some **just ** about his non working *** ******. * said we'd pass the **to ***who'd take a look and he said "well, do you know where i can get porn till then?" and it's like ok, you scare me that you're an ***. and secondly, I can't believe you said that, and thirdly, lemme ask my dad.

Listening to two towers right now. well, just one random song. made like a 6 hr play list to listen to at work. it's ok and stuff. reading The Order of the Phoenix. It's a little creepy, it's like Tom Clancy for little kids. Beginners guide to Jack Ryan or something. Black Ops, harry potter style.

Um... What else? Whilst i'm baring my entire soul or portions there of.

Oh yeah, i spilt water alllll over my keyboard and it TOTALLY doesn't work now. Types all kinds of random characters and stuff. I just told *** it broke. I didn't tell 'em how. Hopefully it'll dry before **** figure out why i needed a new one. This keyboard already has dirt and stuff in it. oh no wait, this is the one from my ***. that one is REALLY nasty. My *** got the one from storage. Nice how we had that little changeroonie, now isn't it?

***tomorrow, Which i think blows. But whatever. I hate **** ****. Especially right now. I feel like the people *** us have really let us down, and created this crisis/extra *** for us, by not *** their ** and ** it correctly (like making a rule that idiots actually have to have ** ** on their *****, or else). And not blocking potential ** ** in time. They're proud of themselves that they got a ** for ** ** approved by the u** ** ** in like two or three days. Meanwhile i was ** ******and **** from home for like four days, because there're still things filtering through the *** that got held up. arrg. Also tired of taking crap from *** and i'm tired of **** asking questions and needing info because they didn't hold on to any of the papers **** sent them with their **** **** on and stuff. What can we possibly do to make this situation better? I dont know. But i feel like i'm stuck in this situation because ** **** has NO say in *** **** ***, or in how we give out info to **** and **(**.

i'm really ready to have a melt down. I can't believ ei have to come back *** tomorrow too, and only have a one day ****. it sucks so very much. Maybe a temper tantrum and a pouty session. I feel one coming on.

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