Wednesday, September 17, 2003

So I haven't blogged in a while. Yesterday was downright traumatic. Dad's playing games with the money again. Helped mom out paying the gas bill (she's paying me back friday, so i have enough to cover the car payment). And he stole like $4000 from his own mother. Really brought back some bad memories of how hard i worked in college and he really didn't give a damn that he'd promised to help, and wasn't helping. Every time i asked for money, i'd just get yelled at. I was working as hard as possible, and living on practically nothing. Every time i think about it, it makes me mad and sad, and angry that i wasn't worth him treating right. The condition of me giving mom the money was she has to tell me when her appt is with the divorce lawyer. I think i'd be lax if i bailed her out because dad got her in a tight spot by blowing his entire pay check the day after pay day, by letting them continue. She needed to stop standing by him years and years ago. Then he'd have grown up. She enabled the problem to get this big by not doing anything more than screaming and yelling about it. They needed this seperation probably after the first or second time he drove them into debt. She's better off without a piece of garbage like that in her life, someone who's inhibiting her from doing basic things like taking care of her children. Sigh. I hope mom at least meets with the divorce lawyer and finds out her rights. But, i really think she needs to divorce him. All he's going to do is keep punnishing the family and mom until if/when he gets his act together. But i'm not holding out much hope. God can do all things, but only in the willing. I wonder if/when he'll ever be willing. I pray for him, I pray for his soul that he doesn't end up in hell, and I pray that he gets better with all of his numerous problems... but I'm tired of continually being emotionally and financially punnished because HE has addictions, and problems, and compulsive behaviors. Yeah, I got problems too. But you haven't talked to me in about fifteen years, so you really wouldn't KNOW or CARE about any of them. Wait a second... You've CAUSED many of them. *grr*

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