Saturday, July 31, 2004

yaay. james and I had another fight. i asked him to make dinner, he said no. i started making the boxed dinner that we bought for him to make because he reffuses to learn how to cook, and then i got mad and marched away from the kitchen and ordered him to finish it. i deserve to have some help in the kitchen. i feel unappreciated for the things that i do, and i dont think he aknowledges how time consuming it is. basically all of our arguments end the same--i apologise. There's never any admission of guilt on his end. I guess he is either a) the world's most obstinant man or b) thinks that EVERYTHING is my fault because SOME of it is my fault, and because i'm mentally ill and therefore i'm crazy, i blow things out of proportion, and i'm just picking on him for no reason. there're times i feel like no one cares about me or my feelings or my needs and this is one of those times. i just want to be taken care of by SOMEBODY. i take care of everyone else, including him. and i'd just like to be taken care of a LITTLE bit and have someone do something i ask them to do because they love me and care about me. That's all i want. and this is a BIG thing to me. this is a HUGE thing to me. if he's not going to take his turn, i want his help. he can at least do what i tell him to do in the kitchen. I just can't cope with ANYTHING right now and all i want is for someone for once in my life to take SOME of the responsibility off of my shoulders and take care of me. obviously thats too much to ask.

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