Monday, October 18, 2004

Body image issues

Well, I'm either cured, or scarred for life.

I was getting changed after working out, and I'm stripped down to my undies, and this lady walks in talking about how she forgot her bag there this morning.

Somewhere in between cursing myself for forgetting to bring a clean bra, I have this epiphany: that woman's going to pull back this curtain and look for her bag in here.

But come on, who'd be that DUMB?? The curtain is CLOSED. OBVIOUSLY someone is in here. So I pulled off my bandana and threw it onto the pile of dirty clothes, and begin reaching for the deoderant, just as--you guess it--the lady tears open the curtain. I dash to one side, but she just keeps opening the thing, looking for her bag.

I grab my sweater and try to hide behind it, and she apologises, but continues to look for her bag. I'm not saying anything, I'm not even looking at her, I'm just staring at the enormous front window of the gym, the rain beating down on my car, and the suv's and luxury cars swishing through the rain in both directions down the road.

Dude, I'm so uncomfortable with my body that I wear pants to the gym, even in the summer. I'm not ready to show the other gym patrons my bod. What makes y'all think I'm ready to show ALL of my 2000 parts to all the people in the shoping plaza and on the road? Are you senile, or do you just not pay attention to what the heck's going on around you?

Helpful hint 172: If the curtain's closed, it's because the person on the other side is not ready to be an exhabitionist.


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