Sunday, January 16, 2005

Temporal Distortions or Falling Asleep At The Mall

I'm so close to being done with the book, I can smell it.

Ok, that's me I smell, but it's because I've been working so dang hard on it I haven't done any of those silly personal hygene things like bathe or use deoderant in like three months. That's not the point...

I wanted desperately to work on the book today, but I conspired against me. More importantly, fate conspired against me.

Waking up achy (not to mention late) I decided better safe than sorry and took the stupid meds for my back. I always sing better when I do--it's easier to just breathe and concentrate on what I'm doing, if I can't feel every single muscle in my back screaming at me because standing up straight causes all the poor widdle musckles to spasm. And they say such horrid, dirty things. I'm not going to let them play with my butt muscles any more--that has to be where they picked up those words. So the singing went very well, considering I didn't actually have a copy of the Gloria I was singing, and I vaugely remembered it--from LAST SUMMER. I just had to make sure at the end of mass I concentrated extra hard because said meds also make me awful flighty.

Then mom asks if I can drive her to the mall. I was really relying on James for this one. I was hoping he'd tell mom that I couldn't, because I absolutely, positively had to help him with the thing. Y'know, THAT thing.

(We'll leave out the part where mom came into my house without knocking, started playing with one of candles which I was intentionally letting the wax drip onto the holder, basically called me a slob in a round about way, and got ticked when I said she shouldn't rag on the person with the car--oh wait, I guess I didn't leave that out.)

So, first we went to lunch, which was Ok, only I ate too much, so there went one of my goals for the day, then it was off to the mall. It was already snowing and snowy, and by the time we got there, the lines on the parkinglot weren't anywhere to be seen. I told 'em to go about their business and I'd be in the food court, writing.

I got myself a coffee because I was feeling kinda yucky inside, and sat down. I think I wrote out an astounding three sentences before I just zoinked out, staring right at the computer screen. I dont think I've done that asleep with the eyes opened thing since high school (no wait, there was that one meeting at work, and my boss caught me, and she was really REALLY upset-- I swear, it's the meds, guys!! The freaking things turn me into a narcaleptic, which is REALLY bad considering I was the driver, and the roads sucked). And I didn't wake up until I saw mom and Melisssa waving at me. Craaaazy man.

I have no idea how long they were gone, but I got almost no work done. I had dragged out my slightly heavy lap top to write a whopping three sentences. Even the part after they sat down I don't remember too well. I remember Melissa seaming anxious, then me telling her that I wasn't going anywhere till I finished the coffee. I remember expressing some placitudes to mom, so that she'd think I was awake enough to drive, and that's about it.

Also got to see my grandmother today. I feel guilty when a good space goes by and I don't see her, because I know she's in bad shape. I want to see her while she still mostly remembers me. Grandpap was his own usual crochety self. She asked him to turn on the lights becuase she couldn't see, and he pointed out that she was blind, and no amount of turning on the lights was going to help with that--over and over and over, and over. And over. And did I mention he did it over and over again?

I got home at like 6. The sucky weirdness wore off a little bit after that. I just kind of sat here like a dummy and watched James clean the kitchen. And I've been playing with melting wax and messing around on the computer ever since. It seems like an hr's gone by orsomething, and it's been around six hours. Crazy, man.

If a donkey asks you if you'd like to eat the magic acorn, RUN.


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