Sunday, February 27, 2005

Don't read this if you don't want to listen to me whine

Well, I thought I was going to actually accomplish writing fiction tonight, but I’ve succeeded in becoming paralyzed by the possibilities. I have one thing I’m a section and a half away from finishing. Something people have been asking me to finish for like six months now, because they actually (bless their little hearts) want to read the rest of it. Then I have Bob. Poor Bob who was stuck in DMV purgatory for like 7 months because I was too much of a lame-ass chicken-shit to do anything like actually finishing it.

Yeah, I fricking suck. I’m REALLY sorry to the people who wanted me to finish that story, and the other stuff I have to finish. Yes, yes, Dawn, Tim, pack of rabid vampires. I’m sorry for that, guys. I just feel like such a lameass. SIGH.

I don’t wanna actually tell the part of this story that I’m currently stuck telling. I’m the retard that locked myself into this structure by posting the first three parts of it already, and now that I’m to the part where the “action” happens, I’m like, hey, that’s nice. Can we just skip to the part where everyone’s ass is kicked already?

And poor Bob. I have nightmares on Bob’s behalf at night. Bob never did nuthin to anyone, so far as I know. Of course, we never WILL know because I’m “afraid” of it turning into a novella instead of a short story, so I just won’t write any more. Mature, I know.

And I despise myself to start revisions on the last thing I finished, because "revise" is beginning to mean "rewrite" as in "write the whole damned thing over again becuase it sucks so freaking bad." You can see why I just wanna poke my eyeballs out, right?

I really DO need to do something about this whole self-loathing thing. It really hinders productivity.


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