Thursday, February 03, 2005

Utilities.

I had to ask for permission to post this. It's too delicious to pass up. Chalk one up for anyone who's ever had problems with a utility company (which is everyone, I'd think). They're not obligated to provide customer service, much less competency, because they're a monopoly, and so, dear friends, you end up with situations like this.

(Names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Dear P---- Energy:

I have been trying, obviously to no avail, to have your company correct the name on this account. I am not Charles J. E---- and to my knowledge no such person exists. I am CHARLENE V. E----. I am not a male, I am a female. The above-referenced account was originally in my father's name: Robert J. E----. My father passed away March X, 2004. After he passed away, I sent your company a request to change the name on the account to me along with a letter testimentary. I am executrix of my father's estate, the account is for my residence, and I would like to have MY name on the bill when it comes. I do not appreciate being called Charles.

Month after month after month after month I have requested this simple change. It should not take a graduate degree to go into your computer system and correct this error. Nor should it take some eight months of requesting you to do so. Am I frustrated with P---- Energy? Yes, HIGHLY. I feel I have been more than patient concerning this matter and I want it corrected now.

I expect that when I receive next month's bill that it will indeed be in my name. CHARLENE V. E----. If you need to speak with me concerning this matter, please feel free to contact me at the number above. I am usually in the office after 2:00 p.m. most days.

Thank you in advance for correcting this matter. With kindest personal regards, I am

Respectfully yours,


**********

Ok. This is just a hystarically scathing piece of literature from a lawyer having a bad day. I don't even know where to begin. Fine. I'll just skip to the end, which is the best part. "Kindest personal regards," followed up with a "Respectfully yours." That just kills me. She just rammed a splintered wooden broom stick up their collective ass and massaged their colon, but kindest personal regards. You guys are incompetent dickweeds, but no hard feelings, ok? **waves sweetly** BUH-BYE!


2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I'm laughing my ass off here. I thought how she signed it was funny too, but even funnier was your interpretation of it.

Spring
www.chaoticspring.com

11:21 PM  
Blogger Gretchen said...

This is really funny. Thanks for "borrowing" it to post. :)

11:18 AM  

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