Monday, May 09, 2005

My stink stick is a failure and my shirt is broken

My deoderant totally let me down. Yeah, another confession. I know. I know.

There's also the matter of my shirt. Well... I have two of them that fit stupidly, but I had the audacity to wear one of them today, and it made me crazy. Am I too big and the shirt too small, or the reverse??

It's huge everywhere. Under the arms there's so much space I look like a gliding squirrel. I could probably shoplift with the amount of room in the stomach, sides and lower back. There's just this one... SPOT. Like... my boobal reigion (which is odd becasue right next to that, under my arms, is too big) and also my upper arms right before my shoulder. It's just too tight in the shoulders and back and when I move around it gets stuck. Meanwhile, I'm floating everywhere else, including in the mid-section, which is usually the place where all of my clothes are small. ARGH! WTF? Am I disproportionate, or are my clothes retarded?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ima go out on a limb and say that your shirt is retarded. This can clearly be revealed by the fact that 99.9% of your clothes fit you fine and are therefore not retarded. There will always be the conspiratorial theory that the .1% of your clothes are the ones that are the truly enlightened clothes and the 99.9% the retarded ones, but that's just the retarded clothes being jelous.


8:59 AM  

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