Sunday, June 26, 2005

This actually seemed funny when I was drunk.

1. There are no cats in America.

2. Sperm whales are not, in fact, made entirely out of sperm. They are actually 45% sperm, 45% spam, 10% polyester.

3. Superman thinks you're a dick.

4. If it makes you feel better, Superman IS a dick. As evidenced by all the dickish things he's doing to Jimmy Olsen all the time. And the Olsen twins. They hate his guts for starting that rumor about Mary Kate

5. I was going to crap on your computer as a little present, but James wouldn't let me. So I just typed a buncha shit instead.

6. There continue to be no cats in America.

7. Once, I saw a bunny with a pancake on it's head. I blogged it. Then I ate it. The bunny, not the pancake. Do you think I'm sick or something?

8. Meat continues to be made 100% from animal, even to this day.

9. Unless it's a McDonalds hamburger. Those are 50% meat, 40% soy, 10% pulped shoe laces. They used to also include 5% hate, but the apathy society protested.

10. Take two, they're small.

11. Dragons taste just like frog legs. Which taste just like dinosaur. Which tastes just like chicken. Or so my lawn gnome told me.

12. There is no number twelve.


Blogger AnonymousCog said...

I really liked #8.

11:38 PM  

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