Thursday, July 21, 2005

I love the military.

This is but one reason why I love the military. Consider it the Air Force's instruction manual to Trick-or-treating.

Man, what would I do without a military manual to Halloween??

  • End up being abducted by going into a stranger's home
  • Being splatted by cris-crossing the street instead of "covering one side" of the street, then the other.
  • Being splattered by cris-crossing the street due to a lack of reflective material on my costume because of the 364 other days of the year where camoflauge is considered a good thing. Oh yeah, and dashing out from between parked cars which is considered clever in urban warfare but ends up getting you splatted if you're seven, or Jesse my mom's dumb lab.
  • Eating razor blades because I was overanxious for the sweet sweet goodness and didn't let mom and dad check for bad things.
  • Empailing myself on my scythe or devil pitchfork. The Airforce says this is a strict no-no. They sure know how to take the fun out of holidays. Wonder what their suggestions are for Christmas. (Or Ramahanakwansmas, as us culturally sensitive types are wont to say)


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