Sunday, October 23, 2005

NASCAR

(Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks)

So, we had to choose the lesser of two evils to root for in the last ten laps today. It was either the Rainbow Retard (Jeff Gordon) or Fatty McFat-Fat (Tony Stewart) If you're going for the paint or the hardware store, I guess you should go for the paint. It's all very philisophical, I guess. Or something. Mostly I just hate Tony Stewart because he spent most of last season whining. Of course, I spent most of last season hatingn Jeff Gordon because he was winning. And he's really smarmy. Today's his first win in like...ever where he hasn't thanked God. God may very well smite him for that. His car'll end up in a ball of flames on the second lap next week. James said he did say he was praying for the Hendricks people who died last year on their way to that same race. So, he did mention God. Roundaboutly. So God'll only half-smite him. His car will roll or something. Unlike his complete and utter smiting of Rusty Wallace. I guess that virgin he sacrificed was only a virgin if you arn't counting oral sex. Which apparenly satan was.

Michael Waltrip also needs to get in on that sacrificing things thing. Like--seriously. Nice dude, but he's been having a rough time of it. Dale Junior actually finished a race. It's like his third this year ;) well, he's finished more than that. I think. Biffel had the yellow paint job, which makes him drive bad, somehow. I guess the darker color of his national guard/post-it paint job hides the blood from the sacrificed chickens better. And the wolfsbane doesn't clash so much with the interior.

2 Comments:

Blogger The BLS said...

Junior? Did you say "Dale Earnhardt, Junior?"

SCREECH! *fainting*

Yes, I have got it BAD for Little E.

2:10 AM  
Blogger TLG said...

Meh. he's ok, I guess. I admire that he drives a beer car.

11:34 AM  

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