Wednesday, December 07, 2005

"All natural" my ass!

I have discovered the secret ingrediant that makes me want more soy milk.

It's the crack.

And I know they didn't grow the crack out in some field in Kansas!! Of course, it could always be those damned meteor rocks mutating the soy fields. Too bad the only freak of the week power I obtained was an insatiable need for soy milk. I'd really have liked to fly or read minds or something.

I need the crack, however. I need to stay awake. Why, you ask? Lemme tell you. Oh, ho ho. I shall tell you, and you shall know.

Shit I have to do before monday:

1)Write three segments for this "thingy" that I'm doing for someone. Due tomorrow night.
2) Read one more chapter in my God-forsaken education book and take the quiz (due friday)
3) Make the quiz that failed to submit actually submit, even if that means redoing the whole effing thing (due friday)
4) Do 3 outlines for 3 crappy videos for stupid education class (due friday)
5) Write a crappy paper on No Child Left Behind for stupid education class (due friday)
6) Do a pedantic 300 word assignment on Lexus Nexus or some crap (due sunday) **
7) Finish 2 DIOLOG homework assignments that were due a month ago (due monday)****
8) Write the crappy 1500 word paper based on the crappy DIOLOG assignments (due monday)
9) Write a crappy 1000 word paper on Lexus or some shit (due monday)
10) Do my final self-evaluation (mental monkey spank) for my school libraries class (due Tuesday).

OH YEAH, I also fucking work full time, have to go to a voice lesson tomorrow, switched shifts with someone for tomorrow so I have no "after work" time and I'm giving up my friday night to watch my grandmother. Saturday I have another voice lesson and sunday I haveta get up at an ungodly hour for church. Can someone tell me where I can purchase a few indulgances or at least a few extra hours of daylight? Maybe the bottled energy of a small child??

In conclusion: FUCK.

**I'm of the belief that if you had to read the lexus user guide, as this teacher wanted us to do a few weeks ago, you have no business being in law school. It's not rocket science.

****A crappy subscription-based engine for searching articles that's run by Thompson (the nice people who brought you Endnote) and is completely out-moded. I think the guy in the next cubical wrote a shell script that finds things with less drama.


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