Wednesday, January 04, 2006

To Blog the Impossible Blog

or whatever.

I don't know. Second day back on the Adderol... it aint doing jack. I'm not sure it was working before, either, but now it's COMPLETELY not working. If I'm going to pay for something non-fomulary that my insurance won't cover, I want it to work, dammit. I want to be able to concentrate so hard that I can bend spoons, or take over the world. Either will be fine. Instead I've spent my day being skitzo and flipping back and forth from one thing to another... oh yeah, and having panic attacks about school and freaking out about how I got a B, and how I could possibly get... ANOTHER B!!!!!! Holy crap, end of the world type stuff.

Ugg. I haven't had a decent meal in like two days, which means I've eaten candy, which isn't good for me. Went out jogging today. In short sleeves. Yes, in January. Last Jan i was riding my bike in a short sleeve shirt. Late Jan, all of Feb and part of March were just terrible though. It snowed, then stayed bitter cold, so the snow and ice were around for a month and a half. I hate being that cold. I have stupid seasonal depression, so I spent every minute from Thanksgiving until April 1st wishing I were dead every year. Then (if I may be ADD enough to sidetrack) when I tell people I want to move to Texas or Az.they are like "Why do you want to move there? It's so HOT!" And I'm thinking to myself... yes, you jackass. I hate winter. I want it to be 90 degrees, bare minimum, YEAR ROUND. I can put on the air conditioner and stay cool. but no matter how high I put my heat up in the winter, I'm still cold. I'm cold right now, at work. I am cold till spring. Why would I want to keep living some place where I am cold and depressed all the time? Just because YOU don't like hot weather??? Ugg. Go to hell.

I've had a bad day. I had like half an hour to do six zillion things (I HATE rushing around), and everything is yuky. And I hate stupid people who don't turn left when they have the chance. HATE.


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